The Family

The Family

Monday, August 2, 2010


I have been wanting to sit down and write this post for 3 days now, but unfortunately our DSL was on the fritz. Finally got a technician out here today so it is up and running now. Hooray!

"There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it hardly behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us." Colin Williamson

I have been hearing a lot about opposition on the Yahoo group and the blogs I frequent lately. Opposition to adopting special needs children mostly. It is amazing what some people will say to others about something that has nothing to do with them, or is none of their business. And it is sad that these kind of comments especially are directed at people trying to adopt SN kids or people who already have. Apparently opinions out there are running wild.

I truly believe adoption of a child is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give to yourself as well as to that other person. It opens your eyes and graces you in a way that you might never have thought possible. You learn so many things-- patience, understanding, problem solving and most of all you learn about love in a way you otherwise might never have known. I think that all of this must certainly be ten-fold when adopting a special needs child. So many people on their blogs say that parenting a SN child has brought an abundance of blessings into their lives. You are not just blessing that child with a family, they are blessing you in your day-to-day experiences.

Most posts I have read say that parenting a SN child, especially one with Down Syndrome, has allowed them to be an ambassador for the cause-- enlightening and educating others, and even helping to soften other people's hearts towards people with special needs. Yet lately I have been reading quite a few discussions that are exactly the opposite. People's hearts, instead of being softened, are being hardened to the idea of adopting a SN child... especially one internationally. Some people would ask things like "Why would you want to take on a child with problems instead of a "normal" child?" Or "Have you ever considered foster care? What is wrong with adopting in our country?"

Sometimes questions like these are asked simply out of ignorance. Adopting might be something these people were never interested in and SN might be something they know nothing about. I will surely say I have been getting an education recently on that one! But I find it awfully sad that today in our world, well meaning adoptive families have to be confronted with questions like these from complete strangers and must prepare themselves with an arsenal of answers for the inevitable future confrontations as well.

In my opinion people certainly have the right to hold their own views, but if they do not edify the listener than I see no reason why others must be subjected to them. The old adage goes "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," and it still holds true today.

Sure, there will always be people out there who don't understand the hearts and minds of those who feel called to adopt-- wherever it might be from, and whatever child it might be. I think it is the hardest when it is family members or friends, the people you feel closest to. It is difficult to explain yourself to them and give a play-by-play as to your reasons for wanting to add another child to your family-- especially in our case since we already had 4 when we decided to go into adoption, or in these other families' cases when they are feeling lead towards a SN child for reasons that others just don't get.

But I believe when you truly feel in your heart that God has called you toward a purpose, nothing should stand in your way. If you truly believe that God will provide, then you have no excuse. He will give you the patience, the heart, the desire, the energy, the finances to do His will. To allow ourselves to be backed down by the words of men, to allow those people to force us to betray our conscience would be unthinkable and a shame.

I feel so blessed to read the writings of so many families who are on the adoption journey, especially the ones through Reece's Rainbow who are out there rescuing the orphans that so many others do not want and would allow to just be cast aside. I am so proud of them and the example they set for others. I feel ashamed for the rest of the world that these families are made to believe that they have to defend or explain themselves for doing what God has called them to do.

All I have to say is this-- whomever is getting in your way, whoever's words you need to politely ignore to continue on in your journey to make this world a better place one child at a time, please continue to fight the good fight. Everyone else does not need to understand. It would be nice if they would support us, but we know that God does even if they don't.

Proverbs 16:17 states "When a man's ways please the Lord, he makes even his enemies to be at peace with him."

Let's continue to try and please the Lord.


  1. Well, Janice.... I'm going to say this.... adopting a Special Needs child.... (albeit one from this country) was the greatest GIFT I have ever been given from our Heavenly Father.... God does not make mistakes.... we both know this... I would not change one single thing about my most beautiful son... we plan to do another SN adoption as well... No one ever said things would all be perfect... but that's the same thing with non-SN children.... we never know what tomorrow holds or what could happen to ANY of us... but we do know that GOD will be there to strengthen and uphold us at all times.....

  2. You are absolutely right. God's plan is always good, and anything could happen to any of us at any time. I cannot wait to hear about your next adoption! Keep us posted! And thanks for your comment.