I know it sounds rediculous, it does to my husband and most of my friends too, but one of my greatest dreams is to someday own one of those 12 passenger Chevy vans. Crazy I know.... right?? They all say "Who would ever want to have one of those?"
I only have two friends I know of who agree with me, one who already owns one and one who has no choice but to get one once she has another baby. I remember the day my one friend and her family drove theirs to church for the first time. I was so excited! I couldn't wait to run out to the parking lot after services and see it! I climbed up in the driver's seat and ooh-ed and aahh-ed over its brand-spanking-new interior and then I glanced into the back to gaze at all those seats. Those empty seats just waiting for her kids to fill them up. And I sighed.
I think I know the reason behind my love of these vans... it is what they symbolize. It isn't so much the van itself, after all this is not a Mercedes or sporty put-the-top-down coupe we're talking about here, but rather it says to me "There's a big 'ole happy family driving down the road!"
I even stopped a lady at Cook Out one time to ask her about her van... a 15 passenger this time. She and her husband were getting dinner with their 7 children, 2 of them adopted, and she happily gave me a rundown of its conveniences with her husband emphatically nodding behind her. And what a great family too. Turns out they even homeschool like us, and we ran into them during one of our outings last year. Our kids really hit it off and afterwards we got to talk even more.
Yep, that van is definitely a symbol for me. A symbol of what I would like to achieve in my life-- a big happy family, made up of children I have physically birthed and those I have birthed from my heart. It symbolizes the good I would like for my husband and I to do in the world, truly worthwhile good... to rescue the lives of those who have so few who want them, so few to love them and call them their own.
Our first adoption from foster care, which is still in process and hopefully to be completed before this year's end, was a great first step into this arena. Our newest daughter needed a loving, supportive family, and thankfully we have been able to give her that. It is my greatest hope, and it would be our greatest joy, to give another child or children that same kind of love and security. There is nothing like having a family to kiss you goodnight, praise your best efforts, and even love you when you fall short. All kids need that.. bare minimum. And to me there is nothing like being a mama-- bandaging the bruises, homeschooling them and teaching them that the world is their oyster, and even reprimanding them so that they can grow and mature into all God wants them to be.
So to me, there is nothing like a full 12 passenger van. And for now I can ooh and aah, and dream of all those seats.... maybe one day filled.
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