My Thought for the Day

"The purpose of life is not to be happy.  It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well"

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson~

WHAT????  I know right now you must be thinking...."She can't be serious!  What does she, or rather Ralph, mean that the purpose of life is not to be happy??  Or maybe you're not wondering that, I don't know.  But I do know that to most Americans, perhaps most people in our modern world, this thought that we are NOT MEANT to be happy might come as quite a shock.  After all, our world, our culture, bombards us daily with the notion that life is ours for the taking, grab the bull by the horns darn it and do everything in your power to make your life as happy and content as possible! 

We have commercials aimed at getting us to buy products that supposedly will make us happy-- from fashion to travel, makeup, weight loss programs, depression medication and online dating sites promising us the perfect partner is just right around the corner.  We have gadgets to make us happy. Things that do everything for us in the blink of an eye so we can have more time to........ relax and be happy!   You get my point.

So for many of us, surrounded by this notion of happiness being an entitlement, the idea of not doing things to make ourselves happy, or better yet doing things that do not make us happy, seems absurd.  What is Mr Emerson really trying to get at here??

Well first of all, he  is not stating that being happy in and of itself is bad.  Rather he is saying that this happiness is not and should not be our main goal or purpose in life.  When we allow happiness to be our end-all and be-all, we turn into nothing more than self-serving snobs.  It's true isn't it?  Who of us can think back to someone we knew, or know, whose main priority is themselves?  Not usually the first person we think to go to when we are in need.... is it?  When we make happiness our goal, we tend to skip things that are uncomfortable, or things that cause us pain.  We tend to miss out on some really valuable lessons in life and really valuable contributions we could have made to the lives of others because we never considered anyone else's needs, or how we could fulfill them.  We were too concerned about ourselves.

So although happiness is not bad, it should not be our focus or our main priority.  So what should??  Well according to Mr Emerson in his infinite wisdom, it should be to be useful, honorable and compassionate, and to have our lives show that we have lived and lived well.  Useful.  Honorable.  Compassionate.  NOT selfish.  Self-serving.  Uncaring.

We need to show that we have lived well.  What does that mean exactly?  That we have lived lavishly.... or that we have lavished affection upon others?  That we have gained material wealth...... or that we have gained a wealth of knowledge about others and their needs?  That we have put our faith in ourselves and what we want... or that we have had abundant faith in God to turn us into the people we need to be and to give us what HE wants?  That we have been served.... or that we have humbled ourselves to serve others?

If we choose to listen to and live by Mr Emerson's statement and ignore the hedonistic ways of our culture, how will we do it?  How can we show others that our lives are not ones devoted to ourselves, but rather to the needs of many?  We each have our paths.  We each have our passions.  We each have our own talents and gifts.  How will we use them to life "a life worth living" as he says above?

Well I can only tell you my way.  It is not everyone's way but I feel it is mine.  It is through adoption.  It is through trying my darnedest to change one young life at a time.  It is by stepping out of my comfort zone, perhaps giving up some (or a lot) or what I want and focusing on someone else's need.  Trust me, this is no easy task.  I am certainly no perfect person.  I love material goods as much as anyone else, and I am certainly selfish with my time and energy more than I'd like to admit.  But I am trying.  And this is all any of us can do.  This is my way to do just that.... try.

Here is a post from another blog which pretty much sums up my heart.  This is a post from the blog "The Journey" which I have a link to here on my page under "Blogs I Like" and which I highly encourage you to read:

"And every single day, it is worth it. Because ADOPTION IS GOD’S HEART. He sets the lonely in families. Adoption is the reason that I can come before God’s throne and beg Him for mercy, because He predestined me to be adopted as His child through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

My family, adopting these children, it is not optional. It is not my good deed for the day, it is not what I am doing to “help these poor kids out.” I adopt because God commands me to care for the orphans and the widows in their distress. I adopt because to whom much has been given, much will be demanded. I adopt because whoever finds his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for HIS sake will find it."

Which One Are You??

Here is a great You Tube video I have not seen before.  It really makes me think..... what do I want people to remember about my life after I am gone?  How do I want them to think of me-- as a "Hugger"?  Or as a person who tentatively, carefully but ever so bravely balanced on that beam of Life??  I would personally like to strive to keep my balance, even though it is more difficult, more scary and sometimes more painful.

So WHO ARE YOU??

The Hugger or the fearless Gymnast??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ&feature=player_embedded

A Doozie of a Week.... and Lessons Learned From It

Wow what a week we have had!  I tell you what, there are times in my life that I wish for a little something different, a little excitement you know?  But NOT like this!

My poor hubby was playing a softball game this past Tuesday night, and as luck would have it my kids and I were able to attend that one.  Oftentimes we aren't because I am running one kid or another to soccer, scouts, etc.  But not Tuesday.  It was a later game and soccer and scouts were over by then, so we all trekked up to the ballfield to watch Daddy play. 

He did great too!  Ended up on second base, then the next batter was up.  Crack!  He hit the ball into the outfield.  Tim ran to third, the guy in the outfield missed the catch but quickly recovered the ball.  "Run to home!" they shouted at my hubby, and dutifully he did.... right as the ball was thrown that way.  He poured on the steam to get to home plate and decided to slide on in to make extra sure he got there before that ball did!  Well, the ground was wet since it had rained previously, and he didn't slide so well.  Rather, his foot stuck in the ground more than he expected while the rest of his body continued forward.  Unfortunately then, there was yet another crack.  This time it was the audible sound of both bones in his lower right leg breaking-- clearly heard by one of his teammates.

The next bit of time seemed to go by in slow motion.  All the players, from his team and the other, were surrounding him and helping.  Luckily one of our friends is a chiropractor, and another of my husband's teammates has a wife who is a medical resident.  They were both on hand that night, by the grace of God, and helped my husband stay still and calm until the ambulance got there to take him to the hospital.

The rest of that night turned out to be a very long one.  After the ER he went to the OR to get knocked out so they could repair his leg.  He was in way too much pain for them to realign the bones with him awake!  Sadly the cast they thought would do the trick-- one up to his hip at that-- was not enough to keep the bones straight and together, so his orthopedic surgeon said he would have to have surgery instead.  Not what I wanted to hear of course, and my husband was still unconcious on the table so he would not know about this new decision until he woke up. 

They determined he would need a titanium rod the length of his lower leg to be inserted from the kneecap to his ankle, and several pins put in there too to hold it all in place.  Lovely.  But I must say, the resulting bandages and "boot" he has to wear for several weeks are a slightly better alternative to the full leg cast he would have been in for two months or more!

Nothing was more lonely or eerie than me having to sit in that big and EMPTY waiting room that night waiting for my hubby to come out of surgery.  From midnight until 5:30 am I waited and worried.  Not very fun!  But a huge thank you to my friend Karol's husband who brought me snacks and stayed with me until 2am.  That was so kind of him, especially when he had to get up for work the next morning!  But I have come to find out over the past few days, that you know what...... that is just some of what good friends do when you are in need.

My husband and I were talking today about how things always happen for a reason, and how sometimes bad things happen to us so that a greater good might come from them.  He has been wonderful through all of this.  Never uttering a "why me?", never really complaining at all.  He is a strong man, and this experience has served to deepen his faith, and his love of his friends and bretheren.  And we have come to find out that in just three short days since this accident, many good things have happened as a result.

As my husband has been unemployed for some time now, we do not carry health insurance.  We were informed today that people were taking up a collection of money to donate to him to help a bit with our expenses.  You know who gave the most??  A member of the other team they had been playing that night!  Word had spread of my husband's injury and he had been added to their prayer list at their church.  As a result, they were lead to give.... give to a man they never met.  My husband was just about moved to tears when I told him.  He really couldn't get over their generosity and was so humbled with gratitude.  Amazing.

We were talking today and I told him this is just one of those things that renews your faith in the human spirit and reaffirms that God is still working in His people!  It takes things like this to happen every once in awhile to remind you of the love of your friends.  The cards, many phone calls and meal we received tonight from some wonderful ladies remind me, and him, of how incredibly blessed we are, and we are beyond grateful for their love and support. 

And this is an excellent reminder to US as well.  We shouldn't sit back and be complacent when there are others that need our help.  Don't leave the burden of helping your bretheren in need to fall on the shoulders of others.  If we are always too tired or too overcommitted with our "fun" things and such, we won't be able to give back to others like they have given to us.

Our friends, and even those others we do not know, have been wonderful Christian models for us to emulate.  Help those in need, give freely of ourselves, and give our time and our funds when we can.  And that should be often.

In the words of our Savior in Matthew 25 verses 35-40 :

"For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited Me in, naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you visited Me, I was in prison and you came to Me." Then the righteous will answer Him, "Lord when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger and invite You in or naked and clothe You?  When did we see You sick or in prison and come to You?"  The King will answer and say to them "Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me"

AMEN!  A big thanks to all those who have taken these words to heart and applied them to serving us this week.

A dad's opinion of adoption

A wonderful Christian family has FINALLY gotten their son!  Through all the paperwork, horrible court appearances and time spent in an unfamiliar country, they never wavered on what their journey was...... to adopt Aaron - a precious boy in Eastern Europe waiting to be taken home to a family of his very own.
This post found on the Nalle family's blog http://covenantbuilders.blogspot.com/2010/09/our-best-good-deed.html is written by Aaron's adoptive father and what a great story it is.  It is one of the few times I have gotten to read the thoughts of an adoptive dad who has opened his heart to a special needs child. 

As he mentions in his writings, it is usually the moms who are the crusaders and blog-keepers of this cause.  We women are the ones who put pen to paper, or in this case fingers to the keyboard, and write away advocating for these children and sharing our efforts to rescue them from a life of hopelessness.  It is great to hear this dad share how adopting this child, and the journey their family took to get there, has changed his life as well as enriching his relationship with God. 

Please take just a moment to visit this family, look at the precious face of their new son and read this father's words of love and wisdom gained from his incredible devotion to saving the life of a child.

Reece's Rainbow Advocacy video

Here is a video showing just a few of the precious children listed on Reece's Rainbow. These special children, and thousands more around the world, need families to save them from lives we can't even imagine living. What can you do to make the life of an orphan worth living? What are you waiting for??
(Scroll to the bottom of the blog and pause my music before playing)

Inspiring Post

I came across a post today, perhaps one of the best and most to-the-point I have ever read in terms of adoption and our call to action.  Please view the link and allow your heart to be moved.
http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/2010/09/while-we-wait.html

Hodgepodge-- homeschooling and more!

Oh goodness, so many thoughts have been swirling around in this head of mine lately and so many of them would have made fabulous posts on here!  But time... where does it go??  No time or energy this week to post anything since we have begun our first full week of homeschooling.
It truly has been an awesome week!  Everyone has gotten off to a good start and really kept up with their reading.  I have really been able to engage each child, listen to them narrate back to me on what they have read, and help them out a bit when they get stuck.  Math, as always, continues to be fun yet challenging-- especially when you have a 9th grader doing algebra 2 and you feel like your algebra days passed eons ago!

The thing I like most about homeschooling our children though is the meaningful conversations we get to have.  So much passes through those minds on a daily basis, and a parent is liable to miss much of it if their child is tucked neatly away at school for 8 or more hours a day.  And then, if your kids are anything like mine, they are trotted off to all those afterschool activities they love and by the time you really get to sit down and talk with them about their day........... they have forgotten most of what happened already!

Well, at home I am lucky that I get to see those wheels turn as they are learning, and I get to talk with them about what they are studying and what they really think of it.  That kind of interaction is priceless and I am so blessed to be able to be such a big part of their everyday lives.  I am also thankful that I know everything they are learning and am able to guide them in learning things that I think are so important-- like modesty which we discussed today, or being a gentleman towards ladies for my boys.  We had such an amazing discussion about both!  These things interjected into our days... along with the routines of math, science and literature... are part of what make homeschooling so special and I love it. 

Tomorrow we are off to our first homeschool group classes of this new school year.  The kids are SO excited, they just can't wait till tomorrow!  There will be some old friends and lots of new, and being that they are all social butterflies (like their momma), they can't wait to meet them.  I am excited for it too and all the terrific learning it will provide.  We will be doing so much!  There is picture study, composer study, Shakespeare-- we will be studying King Lear which is my FAVE-- as well as nature study, writing, poetry and geography.  The kids will also get to draw and the older ones will be reading and analyzing some literature as well.  Lots of work but lots of fun!

Now, switching gears to my other passion........
On a separate note, I just read a wonderful and inspiring post about adoption on a family's blog this evening.  It really puts adoption in a whole other light for some who have never thought about it from this perspective, definitely a Christian perspective.  As she mentions in her post, most people think of adoption as a means to have a family.  Those who can't have children on their own, adopt.  But what about those crazies like me who already have 5 and are still passionate for more?  If I had a dollar for all the times someone has asked me why on earth I would want more I would have enough money for another homestudy already!!

 I really think she explains it well and helps us look at it from God's perspective.  These are His children out there, homeless and unloved.  Don't you think He wants homes and families for them?  And isn't providing a family for a child more important than a fancy car or a closet full of new clothes?  Why shouldn't we desire a large family?  No one balks about someone buying a new house or a beautiful new flat screen when they already have two... so why wonder when someone wants to save a child?  Where do our priorities lie?

She goes on to talk about how even if we cannot provide a home for an orphan ourselves, we certainly can donate to help someone who can.  Every little bit helps and let me tell you, adoption costs a pretty penny.  And most of the time those out there doing it don't have tons of money lying around.  Yet they still feel called to give of themselves in order to save the life of a child, and they fund raise and sacrifice so that they can bring those little ones home. 

That, in my opinion, is truly letting people see Christ in you...... both the families that adopt children and the families that give so that others can save them are showing the world what is most important.  People not things.   Love makes a life.  Giving of yourself shows your heart. 

And let me tell you, these things are also some of the most important lessons I strive to teach my children each day.  I hope to teach by living them out, not just talking about them.

Hopefully someday soon we will be able to call upon the love and generosity of others so that we might make the life of another child a better one.  Read the article linked below and let me know what you think.


http://thecheerfulgiver.wordpress.com/